Twas The Night Before Christmas, April 17th

Anyone else excited for the announcement?

*Feeling very excited about the forthcoming announcement that the Arizona Coyotes will be moving to Utah. It’s been reported by the media that it’ll happen on April 18, the day after the Coyotes’ last home game of the season, making today, April 17, feel a lot like Christmas Eve. Yes, I used Chat GPT to help me out with this. Sue me.*

Twas the night before the big news, when all through the state,
Utah sports fans were stirring, staying up late.
Jazz jerseys were hung with the Utes and Cougars gear too,
In hopes that ice hockey would join the crew.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of slapshots danced in their heads.
And she in her Royals jersey, and I in my Ogden Raptors cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like the Flash (Like Dwyane Wade’s nickname, get it?),
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the now-melted snow
Lit up the scene with a midwinter glow,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a zamboni for a sleigh, and eight elk for reindeer.

Wearing a hat, flat brim, so defiant,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Ryan.
More rapid than Golden Eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Lauri! now, Jordan! now, Walker and Taylor!
On, Collin! on Kris! on, Kenneth and Keyonte!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Ryan came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Lululemon, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of hockey sticks he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a Coyote just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the Jazz note logo on his hat was as white as the snow.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
"Happy hockey to all, and to all a good night!"